Self-help is a fast growing subject, we are learning that fixing ourselves is possible and that loving ourselves is necessary to becoming whole, fulfilled and balanced beings. Not all transformation comes in the form of an epiphany and happens over night or whilst washing our hair in the shower. Most lasting change happens in small increments through changing daily habits or learning a lesson three times over when it hasn't quite sunk in enough to warrant moving forward.
I am constantly looking for ways in which to better myself and through self analysis I have compiled a list of life lessons that once realised made living life a breeze;
No action is worse than action 🔨
Being aware of necessary action in any sized situation and choosing to avoid taking it, to ‘let life happen to us’ as it were, is an indication of having weak self values. I knew what I needed to do but I avoided doing it even though I knew I was keeping myself in a worse position, because I didn't respect or value myself enough to admit this wasn't right for me. When I did stand up for myself, I felt free and wondered why I hadn't done it before. Valuing ourselves shouldn't have to be a big confrontation, just let people know how you feel and there is no need for resentment. Treat others with love but don't accept anything less from others towards you.
Your emotions are important, but they do not define you 😭
We can notice and deal with our emotions without getting caught up in the whirlwind that is our emotional body. I always find the phrase ‘I am..’ rather than ‘I am feeling’ interesting when it comes to expressing emotions. ‘I am’ are defining words that diminish everything else that we are in that same moment that we are experiencing a certain emotion.
Practicing detaching from emotions through objective viewing and meditation has allowed me to understand that we are nothing until we decide that we are, especially once we say it out loud. Our brains listen to everything! Noting any reoccurring emotions that may come up for us is also a good indictor of any unhelpful belief patterns we have going on within.
When something feels odd, ask what need is being fulfilled ? 😕
‘Staying present’ to me means listening to intuition when it comes up and noticing when I am saying or doing things without thinking. Does what I am saying have meaning, is it true to me? Does me agreeing to something have an ulterior motive or would I usually do this?
People say that when love comes along you just know, and its the same with intuition. If your doing something out of alignment you will know because your intuition will go off like a bell and you will feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Now's the time to ask - why am I in this situation? What has led me here? What need am I meeting by doing this thing that does not serve me? Once the question is answered you can understand that there are more suitable options that fulfil more of your needs in a healthy way and move on.
You can trick your body into healing itself 👼
People tend to ignore methods that sound too simple, because they seem to obvious to possibly work. I went for a run and got crippling menstrual cramps, I had to crawl on the grass (it was 6am and no one was around luckily! ha.) I remembered something I had learnt about saying words outloud to trick your brain and body into acting differently. So I sang a song about feeling amazing and having no pain and 5 minutes later I was walking again. I have used this countless times since and it always works. Never underestimate the power of simplicity!
Live through your own passions and people will appreciate and be inspired by you 🙇💁
Take time in deciding your life direction, it is your life and you should really feel connected to everything that you do. Our daily habits and chores take up about 20% of our lives, so it is important that you are living through your own passions and no one else passions or expectations. Each passion, whether its painting mugs, cliff jumping or pursuing a career in app development, will give you a high that can only be experienced that way. Once you live through your passions, you will attract people and opportunities more suited to you. People love someone to talk about or partake in something that they are passionate about, because it inspires them to do the same! Just do you, and the rest will come.